< No Title >

Today, nothing happened.
Tomorrow nothing will happen either.
Tuesday, there will be school, some friends, and a state of awkwardness;
however, we are back to Wednesday and the nothingness is once again, in reign.
Thursday will be the same as Tuesday. A series of tiny glances, blushing and awkwardness.
Friday, I should be going to Hickory but as of now, I have no idea how the gas and money will formulate into my hands in order to go. It will most and likely ensure nothingness.
Then Saturday comes around to remind me that my life is obsolete.

YAY FOR HAVING NO LIFE!

Actually no. It is almost unbareable. I hate hearing about so and so doing such and such. I want to be doing such and such as so and so. HEH!



To my actual point. I have this friend. I shall call her Elizabeth. She is an okay friend but I find myself bitter toward her. She really cannot be single. One minute she is sadly heartbroken and then she discovered she wanted to be "free" for a while. She had plans that didn't involve someone else. She wanted to be single for a while. It was then my toleration for her exponentially grew overnight. I wanted to be around her more. However, I should have known, that she could not stay single for long. She is a couple again. I find that toleration declining at and accelerated rate. What does this say about me? I could guess jealousy. I have only been in 2 relationships that lasted for a short while and neither one of those male specimens felt anything then a small twinge of like. Maybe it's true. The Giant Green monster attacks again, eating away at my last bit of hope. I know its frowned upon to have these pangs of envy, but I cannot help but want to have that person that wants to spend time with me. Who wants to be with me, even if it isn't in the traditional sense of the relationship. Maybe not someone who wants to spend time with only me (that's too clingy) but would prefer to be with me over their other options. I want to, for once, recieve true affection. I want to feel special and know for sure that I am not some horrible parasite. I want to know that I am likable and am worth the effort of trying for. I just want to know what it's like to give all I have (like I have in the past) and actually have it returned.

Is it so wrong?